Divorces are often messy, full of anger, detest, and arguments. Though, an amicable divorce is peaceful, mature, and respectful.
Going through a divorce is unfortunate. People change, and people grow apart, but that doesn’t mean the process of divorce shouldn’t be easy.
Ending a marriage is a major life event, but with an amicable divorce, the process can be smooth. If you want to learn how to achieve an amicable divorce, keep reading for our nine tricks and guidelines.
Create a Parenting Plan
An amicable divorce is a lot harder to achieve if there are children involved. Emotions can become heated, and unfortunately, children are sometimes used as a bargaining tool.
When there are children involved in a separation or divorce, emotions can become heated. Keep everyone’s best interests in mind and try your best to work with your ex, not against.
Create a parenting plan that outlines in detail the guidelines and expectations of continued co-parenting. This plan is for after the divorce and covers where and who the children live with, weekend and holiday arrangements, and other essential factors.
Don’t Rush the Process of Friendship
In an ideal world, every divorce ends with a handshake, or maybe even a hug, and the couple remains friendly with one another for life. While this is possible, it’s not always the case, and trying to be friends too soon isn’t always the best idea.
If the decision was mutual and there are no hard feelings, then why not remain friendly with one another? But, if your divorce is the source of a lot of pain and stress, it’s best if you both give each other space. You both deserve time to adjust to the changes in your lives and to think through your feelings.
Stay respectful, but avoid rushing a friendship even if the goal is an amicable divorce. Let everything evolve in its own time.
Consider Mediation
If you and your ex cannot agree on one or more than one issue, it may be time to enlist the help of a mediator.
Mediation provides an unbiased point of view, and the mediator works with both parties to instruct and educate. Hiring a mediator is a common way to settle family legal disputes.
Leave Old Habits Behind
Your spouse is the main support person that helps you get through life’s challenges. Once you’re divorced, you are relieved of those responsibilities to one another.
Of course, you can still show concern for your ex if they are experiencing difficulties, but it isn’t healthy to continue being their primary source of support once you two have ended your marriage.
Focus on creating a new life without your ex and keep a reasonable gap between the two of you. It would help if you allowed yourself to let go of your former obligations to be there for your ex-partner.
Write: Don’t Speak
During the process of divorce, whether it’s an amicable divorce or a non amicable divorce, there is a lot to be discussed. Words are said, and oftentimes, those words are forgotten or misconstrued.
With any components of the divorce, such as agreements on assets, be sure you always take note. You want to have a record of the agreement in case anything changes. A post nuptial agreement after infidelity, for example, is a great way to save time, energy, as well as costly divorce lawyers fees.
Establish Clear Rules and Consequences
Going through a divorce can be a stressful and emotional time for any person, and humans don’t behave their best when under so much stress. The goal for both of you may be an amicable divorce mediation, but the end result can easily get lost when emotions take center stage.
To keep the peace, come up with a set of rules and consequences in case the rules are broken by either one of you. These rules are your safety net if one of you strays from the agreement.
Allow Relationship Transformation
Release all of your expectations of what your relationship post-marriage should be and allow it to transform and grow on its own. Don’t rush or force the process.
Of course, things will change, and your relationship with your ex will be new and different. This new and different relationship is essential for you two to both evolve after an amicable divorce.
It may be painful at first, but it’s what’s needed in order to move on and find peace.
Accept Support When Offered
If you’re wondering how to divorce amicably, keep in mind that a divorce is still tough regardless of how “amicable” or smooth the process is.
Going through a divorce is hard, and it’s even harder if you’re going through it alone. If your loved ones such as friends or family offer their help, accept it.
You are not alone, and divorce can easily make someone feel more isolated than they actually are. Sometimes all you need is someone willing to listen or a shoulder to cry on. You may also have a lot of questions, and someone you know may be able to share their personal experiences and give you some helpful insight.
You don’t have to go through this experience alone, so gather and build your positive support network.
Don’t Play the Blame Game if You Want an Amicable Divorce
Playing the game does not help anyone, even if one of you is clearly at fault. While it may be tempting to blame your ex for the breakdown of your marriage, for an amicable marriage, it’s best to go forward peacefully and accept the marriage dissolution for what it is.
Pointing fingers and laying blame makes it harder to reach an agreement and makes interactions confrontational and messy. You want discussions to flow smoothly with your ex-partner, and laying blame only puts them on the defensive and may make the process even harder (and longer!).
Moving on and Moving Foward
Going through a divorce is unfortunate. People change, and people grow apart, but that doesn’t mean the process of divorce shouldn’t be easy.
If you want to avoid an ugly divorce that’s messy full of anger, detest, and arguments, keep our nine trips in mind for a smooth and amicable divorce.
Deciding to end a marriage is already a painful decision, so you and your ex-partner owe it to yourselves to make the divorce process as civil as possible.
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